On Friday, March 28th, I woke up at 5:30 to what felt like a gas bubble in my belly, and then feeling like I might be leaking and thought to myself that I'd better visit the bathroom even though it was still really early, and I typically tried to wait until a little later if I could so I didn't disturb anyone. It's a good thing I did! I sat on the toilet and did my thing, but kept going and going and going... I realized my water had broken! I didn't experience this with my first labor six years ago. I had no contractions yet, but realized, oh! It's baby day! I had hoped for an April baby, but this was not to be. Once I got things under control, I hurriedly grabbed my first pair of Depends (so very glad I had a large stash of these!) and woke my husband to let him know baby would likely be arriving today! He mumbled tiredly in sleepy surprise but did not go back to sleep. I told him I was going to take a shower - I hadn't had one in six days. Mom life.
As I enjoyed the warm water running over my body, I caressed my belly. So many times I had enjoyed my belly in the shower, and this was the last day I would be pregnant (maybe ever). I took my time to enjoy the shower, shave, and feel pretty and clean, then got out and put on the beautiful maternity robe I purchased from Caden Lane. I may have been technically wearing a diaper, but at least I had on this beautiful floral robe! Then I climbed back into bed. I texted Jessica, my midwife, to let her know my water had broken, and played my daily word games and did Duolingo on my phone. I had such a hard time concentrating - baby was on the way!
At 6:40 am, my first contraction happened. I had a few in quick succession, with the space between rapidly shortening. I was nervous for a few minutes that this was going to turn into a fast and furious labor like last time! But then, they dissipated. They were much more random after that for a while, and I was lucky they felt so much like Braxton Hicks in terms of their intensity (or lack thereof) but I could tell the difference. Still, unlike my last labor and birth, I was able to relax for this first part of labor.
Around 7:00 I woke up Eden, my older daughter. I told her baby was coming today and she was going to Grandma's soon! She was nervous at first, worried for me, but then got so excited about packing up her favorite toys and books to take to Grandma's. (Mama got to do the boring parts like clothing and toothbrush, haha.) I heated us up some breakfast casserole, and daddy tried to get in touch with Grandma which took a little longer than expected. Before Grandma arrived, Eden and I cuddled and read a few books together. Then she was off with Grandma to her swim lesson and who knows what adventures!
With the house quiet, and contractions intermittent, I wasn't entirely sure what to do with myself. Jessica had texted back and I kept updated her on things, but it wasn't time for her to come just yet. I putzed around the house, tidying things up, setting out snacks for my birth team (Jessica later gently chastised me for "hosting my own birth"), and I changed the sheets on our bed. I had Adam take a picture of me with my baby bump for the last time! I was so excited to meet my little one! Adam started setting up the birth pool and was clearly a bit more frazzled than he let on, as he tried to attach the hose to our shower head without using the adapter Jessica left for us - we were both puzzled when he said it wasn't working, until we realized he had forgotten about the adapter! Thank goodness that was a problem that didn't need solving!
After a while of not hearing from me, Jessica asked how things were going and if I would like her to come out and check on me, to which I said that would be great. In the meantime, I cuddled on the couch with my dog, and then decided to try some things I had read about to see if I could speed things up a bit since my contractions were still really inconsistent. I bounced gently on my exercise ball and did a very small bit of nipple stimulation. Those things sure did the trick, because contractions picked up very quickly from there. They were still pretty mild, but much more consistent and just a bit stronger.
At about 11:00 Jessica arrived with her daughter and assistant, Delaney. Jessica checked me, and I was at 5-6cm! I was thrilled that so much progress had happened already with labor being SO easy so far. Jessica suggested Adam and I take a walk, so we took Sydney, our dog, and walked down the road together in the warm spring sunshine. I felt a little embarrassed being in my robe and some pj-type pants, and Adam in his PJs and socks with flip flops, but I was also in labor and just hoped not many people would be out today! Ha! After turning to come back up the hill to our house, one neighbor's dog ran out to greet us (or rather, Sydney), and then another neighbor's dog did the same. One of the dogs jumped up on me to say hello... and also peed all over my feet! And the pajama pants I had put on under my robe. So I'd had enough and left Adam with the dogs and started waddling towards home. He easily caught up to me after getting the dogs off to their houses. Right as we arrived back home, I had a strong contraction, the strongest one yet, and it stopped me in my tracks. Once it passed, we got back into the house and downstairs where I made Adam wash my feet of the dog pee!
Back upstairs, Jessica and Delaney had finished setting up the pool and everything. We enjoyed some casual conversation and I told them the story of our walk and we laughed about it. In between parts of the conversation I would have a contraction, which Jessica was now timing. I would "slow dance" with Adam through these, and use breathing techniques I had learned, and did my best to relax my face and body as each contraction was more intense. I used "horse lips" for the first few, but for the next few after that I was having a much harder time breathing through them. It was only about 6 contractions, and maybe 20 minutes, from arriving back upstairs to deciding to get into the pool! I nearly threw up as I turned to get into the water. I had texted Ashley, my photographer, at the start of this time and she was heading home and on her way.
In the pool, things continued to quickly intensify. I only had 2-3 more contractions before I felt the urge to push already. I was kneeling in the pool and holding Adam's hands as he sat at the side of the pool with the bowl, a wash cloth, and my water bottle. The beginning of my labor may have been gentle and easy, but the pushing stage was very intense! It also felt like it went on FOR-E-VER. When I prepared for birth with reading and learning, I made a point to go into this experience with flexible expectations. The one thing I was NOT very flexible on was the idea that because this was my second baby, pushing would be both easier and shorter. Well, I was wrong!
Technically, I did push for less time. With my first, I pushed for two hours. With Ivy, I pushed for an hour and a half. It didn't FEEL shorter though! The contractions were very intense and pushing, while agonizing, was better than the contractions so I pushed hard through each one to avoid the pain. If I ever have another baby my goal is to work through them better, but my midwife said I did a good job with my pushing - I wasn't too rough even though I felt like I was. I made deep, low sounds and did my very best to keep my face relaxed as much as possible. When a contraction was about to start, I often let out a HUGE belch! I thought that was so weird, but I was told it's normal! As contractions would start, I would rock back and forth, as if trying to escape the inevitable pain enveloping me. Holding onto Adam's hands kept me grounded, as well as having one or both of Jessica's hands on my lower back for counter pressure. If her hands weren't there as a contraction began, I'd call her name, hoping for that counter pressure. She was always there when I needed her to be, even if she had to stop every so often to check baby's heartbeat, which of course I'm so glad she did. As contractions and pushing intensified, I squeezed Adam's hands HARD and I was worried I was going to hurt him! I brought our hands up against my cheeks and ears, partly as another form of counter pressure and partly to muffle my sounds because I felt embarrassed by them. Silly me. I even bit the side of the pool once, before realizing this was a BAD idea, and let's not do that again.
Sometime in all of this Ashley arrived and began photographing. I didn't notice and I didn't care! :) I was deep in labor land. I'm grateful she (and Delaney, on her phone) captured memories of this experience. I was blessed to have two talented photographers.
Despite how intense the pushing stage was, I felt more aware and in control than I did with my first baby. And by "in control", I mean that I had the sense to trust my body and let it do what it was meant to do. I would start a contraction rocking and trying to escape, only to come to my senses quickly and use my low, deep vocalizations to direct energy downward and even though on the one hand it felt like everything inside me was about to explode out of my bottom, it also felt like an opening-up which is how it is meant to be. With each effort, baby came closer to being born. And as I panted between contractions, Jessica reminded me to breathe deeply and send oxygen down to baby - this would turn out to be prophetic.
Many times throughout the pushing stage I prayed out loud. I asked for the Lord to help me and be my strength, because I couldn't do this alone. Sometimes I felt like I couldn't do this - but I knew I would! I was made to! That baby wasn't staying inside! It was hard, but it was also peaceful and beautiful. My favorite candle flickered nearby and I was surrounded by twinkling lights and people I loved. Gentle worship music played (until my bluetooth player died, I forgot to charge the batteries!). It was a beautiful spring day and everything I had dreamed of.
And now, it was time. I felt baby's head crowning and that burning ring of fire. It took longer than I remembered to bring baby's head out. When her head was about halfway out, Jessica had me reach down and feel the head. I could NOT figure out what I was feeling - later I put it together, but at the time it just felt weird and like it went on forever, like an alien! I'm glad she had me do this because I had gotten very lost in my head at this point and the distance from my head and mind to my baby exiting my body felt like miles. At some point during these last few pushes, I felt the baby jerk inside of me, which seemed strange to me. Later Jessica and I would wonder if it was related to what happened to her, although she said it's not totally unusual for babies to move like that even right before birth. Another push, and her head was all the way out! I knew I was almost done. I knew one more contraction would likely do it. I had intended to catch my baby this time, but I was so focused on that last contraction, and because baby seemed miles away from my hands, that I didn't really catch her. I pushed with the next contraction and felt her come sliding easily out, and then felt instant relief! I think I asked where she was, and Jessica said she was in the water right in front of me. I reached down and gently picked up my blue-gray baby, lifting her out of the water and seeing for the first time that she was, indeed, a girl, and announcing to the room,
It's a girl! Hello, Ivy Jane!
That was the last moment of the first part of our lives. That moment is the defining line between what came before, and what happened next.
Missed Part of the Story?
The Birth of Ivy Jane - Part 1
The Birth of Ivy Jane - Part 3
The Birth of Ivy Jane - Part 4
